ENTRY : tears of a paper heart-

my life is so screwed pls. there's no improvement in my studies. there's no big responsibilty in me as a leader. i can't handle relationships with people. tell me about it.

it is so hurtful to be left on the lurch you know ? nd are these really called friends whom i can trust ? oh where is family quality tym ? why can't i be ingenious like fuck ? i'm effing depressed. sighs.

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today was just fair. school lessons nd cca practice, homeworks nd pressure. i slack too much nd never change ): well, shirleen nd i stayed in class during break. it's nyce just having a good chat (: nd our worries for Vday with the gifts nd outings (who would want to spend it with me lahh crazy haha) thanks shir. but you know, life just goes on no matter what. we'll accept whatever comes nd go huh.

okay i shall do my homework nd study now. tmr's a busy day.
"i might be thinking too much, they say. but it feels like we're drifting. i don't wish to."
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maybe we weren't meant to be. it could just be a play that im included in huh. is this so ? or am i thinking too much. its fuck. because i'm in doubts, nd my intuition tells me it could end up this way. which i never wanted to be repeated like those past. so sorry. i don't want to cry. not even tear. for this i'm not so capable of. but why all this ? these guys are jerks to say they 'like' or 'love' nd halfway through they give u up. can anything else be more cruel to a girl then this ? leaving the heart to bleed death. i wanna scream.

mum's shouting again. sighs. she's often out against me for goodness knows why. could be that i'm a little rebellious alrd. ):
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jonathan ; yeahh okays i've read. don't worry it's all in the past. it does not need to be brought up again. he's doing pretty well i guess. nd im sorry i can't bring myself to like you the way you do, because i won't change the fact that i'll always treat you as a brother/friend only to this extend, you're not really my 'type' too. please understand alrytes ? call me a bitch or whatever but yes, this is all i have to say.